~~Tuesday, August 08, 2006~~

firstly. thank u my dear woman. thank u so so much. dun think u noe how upset i actually was over nothing much actually.. just really upset, what with all e stress frm prelims n didi being scared n upset too. thanks ah my stabilizer. love ya. :) lemme show of my gf's artistic skills..

great diff b/w me n woman huh she can do 3 pretty drawings (free hand on ms paint okay) n i cant even arrange them nicely -_-"

hmm im so tired i dno y.. i feel lik studying thou.. tink im gona sink back into that odd state i was in in sec 4. when nothing mattered. other than gettin thru e piles n piles of notes n books. n 24 hrs a day wasnt even enuf.. i could have messsy hair n a chipped nail polish n not do anything to mend it cos i feared wasting time i could use memorising some fact of another.. gosh it scared me lar.. this is so gona affect every relationship im in. ok tt sounded wrong. i mean. interpersonal relationships with friends, etc etc. so yes if i start being VERY dao on msn n sms, it isnt intentional. oh goodness this time rround i m not gona start makin promises to go out n have dinner aft As ok. had a hard time keepin up w all those promises aft my Os were over.. haha silly.

went for the sa family band concert yesterday. my gosh its really. stunning. how e primany secondary jc and even alumni n adults that were once saints can just come together and make beautiful music together as one.. it really was. i dno.. indescrib...ble. even for a non-saint. i can see why saints are so proud that "once a saint always a saint".. didi din go back for the alumni. n he was feeling pretty bad to his band mates n seniors lsat night.. din know what to say to him. since i nv played for dhs alumni much either. haha.. saw all his ex band mates.. its alwys like this aft one of his band thingys.. e next day or 2 i'd alwys think how it has been so many times before.. at some performance or another.. then all this really really familiar faces n a rush of emotions n i dno. think im too sleepy to sound logical le.. saw this particular someone. shant say e name or much here. only, =D HEH HEH HEH. we shall have to code name this someone too :) talented. hardworking. smart. hot.

my impression on someone changed drastically today. wonder if its safe to put his name here. hm lets call him =] ok? so yes during some moment in the day he got really worked up n said hmm "c*** b**" which i seriously loath hearing. seriously. so i was stunned. cos to me uve alwys been charming n well mannered and yea :) so i was lik "hmm well.. MALES. BAH" then aft e lesson he came up n apologised for losing his cool n stuff. n for not havin self-control. its not something most guys would do really. i admire u for that. in e afternoon he told me sometimes they are rather unrestraint n erm speak n curse freely when its just the guys but he thinks its really important to have self-control when there are females around. so he said he was really really sorry again. BERN AH, he IS nice la! ha still makes me smile. cooL :)

ok its 2am n i sudden feel the urge to study. i need to study. i crave studying. i can feel it coming. goodbye sane mel.

change of plans :'( im gona cry. im scared theres a bigbig thunderstorm n e winds are so scary n loud.. e closed windows are vibrating even. so scary.. im rly scared :'( someone walk me to my room. i wish we were in sydney. then someone wud walk me all e way to my bed at night :'(

-the end.

* i'll close my eyes and remember. 5:40 AM *