Monday, May 08, 2006
heyyy~ tml's game! goodness im excited n worried at e same time.. season's just started and yet its gona b e end of round 2 soon lar.. goodness..!! okay i feel random. e blogging mood is like. just gone -_-"
wa im damn sad. i bought e wrong foolscape! its e fat 8mm line one lar. i use 6 mm n now this ugly one is like, ugh. haha n i cut my daddy's toenails.. wa lao wad isit w males n bad nails!! my dad has gross nails, my bro has gross nails, didi has e grossest nails. goodness! PEDICURES PPL -_-"
im feelin quite down n sick of life again. bah
tried havin my usual self-conversations in e bathtub in chinese.. goodness even i gave up a talkin to myself in chinese.. now i get gf/bern/jack's plight.. rly hv to start learning my han yu pin yin all over again man.. screw e 4 diff shens i cant do anymore ARGHHHHHH. nvm im better than fana at least *pheww* (ok helps that she's malay but *shrugz*)
heh from now on bern cant say im mean when i say ------- anymoreeee whee*
2dae's inb/w tuition was bah. sucky.. thankfully had belle n shifu n shen! to shop awhile w.. haha shen is freaking cute la n we're quite similar too x) in many many ways... hoho random ppl.. we took photos at e taka foodcourt aft eatin while shifu n haisong gave us these -_-" "females.." look. haha OMG ive fallen in loveeeeee there's this chio chio forever 21 white and silver top that is lik so, me~ but din get it x( DONATIONS ANYONE?? arghhh.. i need a money-printin machine x( !! eh aft hvin lunch went to e lib.. borrowed lotsa nice books.. which made me happy! for lik 3 mins.. then i started sinkin into a depressed mood.. kept psychoin myself "NO MEL SMILE SMILE AT UR REFLECTION> DONT DONT CRY>>!!" okay i failed.. ha i hate HATE loneliness. bah makes me feel unloved n empty n lost.. lik ure almost gona start walkin round n round n round a pole lidat.. bah.
u noe i really wonder.. how long i can take it before i accidentally-on-purpose blurt out e truth. self-control mel. (everytime i hear my name now/type my name. i hear fana's voice saying "mel" lik i did sth wrong again. walao its scaring meee.. *sniff)
dear! i kupped this frm ur blog. dont mind k *love
"I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me -- when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. "I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh." I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart ... and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever.
I like people who can make me laugh ... I love making people laugh. I don't blush easily, but if I do, it means something. I like people who make me think about things ... people who willingly put up with my absentmindedness and like it. Common sense has never been one of my strong points. I'm not afraid to laugh at myself ... nor am I afraid to laugh at other people. I have a hard time letting go and when I love, I love deeply. I'm sincere and genuine ... and I like people who are sincere and genuine. People who respect themselves, boys who love their moms. I want to be adored ... and when I date a guy, I want him to be absolutely stoked about me. And I want it to be okay that I'm stoked about him. I don't want to be told that I'm loved ... I want to be shown. If a guy tries to pay for me, I'll pretend to be objective ... and I'll never expect it ... but I'll always appreciate it. If you give me the chills ... if I let you kiss me ... it always means something. If you hurt me, I'm going to talk to my friends about it ... I'm a relational person, that's what I do. If I'm angry, I will always tell you about it. I will try to work things out and if I have my way, we will work things about before going to bed. I believe strongly in the scripture in Ephesians that advises not to let the sun go down on your anger."
- Samantha Mott
//*Maybe its intuition, some things you just dont question, like in your eyes,
I see my future in an instant and there it goes, I think I found my best friend
* i'll close my eyes and remember. 4:04 AM *
