Sunday, February 05, 2006
my best friends this new yr..
1. waterproof mascara
2. waterproof eyeliner
3. make up kit for touch ups
4. tissue paper
i had e most horrid new year every.. had to go thru a high fever.. minimal ang baos.. dad havin to wk overnight not coming back.. and a break up.. wa lao eh.. beat that if u can..
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i wana put my memories down. its personal n its juz what i wana say.. i know someone or another who's gona read this is bound to bitch abt sth or another.. dont know how i know call it a gut feelin but hell do it somewhere i'll nv find out k thx.. my gf says i can do anything i wan so as i dont break the law but hell i dont think i'll get away with murder hor.. eh i dnoooo~ :)
been thinkin abt the first day we met till now.. puttin them into boxes n into my mind as simin said..makes it easier to let go.. i realise we've enough to shoot lik 5-8 korean dramas le.. enough sweet love scenes.. enough dramatic quarrels.. enough external characters..
e first month we knew each other was magic.. e first month we spent as a couple was heaven.. cliche as it sounds i now am a true believe of love at first sight.. really i do.. e first time we locked eyes was alr *wheet* ok tt could be bcos of physical attraction i know (or as e saints put it pure lust) but whatever. it was there n i felt it.. mayb first 1 hr was lust.. what abt e goin home hopin to see each other again w/o anything more than a name (see decent ppl din even xchange no).. then findin every excuse to meet up every single day again n again for no good reason.. n its not everyday i bring a male friend home.. it was lik we met n then a bubble grew arnd us.. everything else was kept out.. (i still feel bad to ku gua. we din mean to abandon u idiot we juz fell in love im sorry (: ) it was so wonderful.. it wasnt juz a spark. ive had sparks with enough guys to tell.. i know a forest fire when i feel one~ bahh ok fine heavy rains came along but thats another story. shut up mel im tellin my stories here...
everytime we go to east coast park is special.. how e fuck m i to rollerblade down e same path i know so well i can close my eyes and blade, without thinkin abt how it was ur bike tt took me down e same path so many times.. which idiot is gonna look for jelly fish for me n spend hours gettin our butts wet catchin prawns n lobsters by e rocks.. or stupidly sit 7 hrs w/o movin juz talkin abt everything under e sun (till e sun set) till our butts are numb.. amanda dear i wun b needin to borrow ur bike anymore.. there's no more 1.8+ guy to ride it le :'(
i wana go sentosa w didi again.. its different from e class.. i love it when im there w 4/7 we have lotsa fun chillin n playin many ppl games there.. n w e rest o e saints n stuff its damn high n damn wild but its different when a couple go there tgt.. its sweeter.. its more romantic.. sensual..
i rem when i first went to vj. its was tmd hard cos its tmd far.. i was so miserable.. didi called me e whole way home so i wun b lonely n cry.. n when he cud he'd come from sas to sch to pick me then go home past sas again to my house.. rain or shine.. i miss walkin out of vj smiling when i see e back of e saint tt pretends he din see me to gek seh den give e "oh ure out.. not that i was dyin to see u i mean" look..
now when i go to potong pasir.. every corner i turn to i wana cry. cos there hasnt been a single part of that place we've not walked together.. not played hide n seek at.. not cried at.. ESP. tt teletubby's block.. walao tt block is cursed for us. eerytime we quarrel it HAS to be that block.. but tele's my vvvvvvvv good fren n he wun mind me insulting his block i know. yo tele ur block sucks!! x(!!!!!!!!! thinkin abt a particular quarrel my feet hurt.. it was bad n he ran off n i sprinted aft.. losin my slippers on e way n gettin both feet full of mimosa thorns when he ran thru e field. e idiot had to run thru e field.. den aft i stood in e middle of e field cryin he had to carry me all e way back to TELE's BLOCK to pull out e thorns for me..
i miss gg to his house.. i'll def miss baby kai lin.. ok she's not a baby anymore my baby's all grown up now isnt she.. i went to didi's house tday.. i think she knew we've broken up w/o us tellin her.. really really sad i love e kid so much.. bet when its all over i will most DEF! miss lin more than i miss kaihua.. hence!! ive decided tt mayb i shall go ask her mummy if i can be her god sis!! my darling.. im gona miss u lik hell
didi makes e best honey water in e world.. (mayb cos his dady forces him to make for dinner) ha but its still v nice n icy cold n somehow not diluted.. ive tried millions of timesbut its not nice.. lousiness! :( n he cooks for me. bah i will so find a guy tt can cook next time..
ive gone to didi's house so often its more of a home to me than mine is actually.. i have more feelings for that place.. hell i even think his toilet's nicer for shittin! :( n i do lik e full length mirror =D im gona miss e familiarity there.. knowin that place inside out whether its day time or night time.. e last time i stayed over was great.. new yrs eve.. went for countdown then went back to his place at 3+ then watched movies tgt w barley water haha then went to slp (haha i got e couch he got e floor!) n early in e morn ling came to poke me awake! (cos she wakes didi everymorning)
i wana fly kite again.. didi taught me how to fly kite n blow good fat bubbles.. where m i gona find another mad fella whole day go slack n fly kite w me la.. hard ok uve got to run thru e mud when i accidentally let go of e string n it flies away.. haha im a lousy pok i know.. n im a little bimbo tt cant take care of herself.. now i muz learn :(.. im so dependent i realise.. even when i get on e bus didi has to turn e aircons away for me so i dun freeze.. and im so lazy.. i realised everytime we wana get up he has to stand up first then pull me by e hand up.. then push me then i'll walk.. cos i'm lazy n will sit down again.. haha mel sucks.. somehow i feel lik im talkin to myself again.. mayb tts cos 2 of us are comin out again.. since didi came along theyve been tgt as one much more often now that he's gone ive been talkin to myself on buses n roads n in e showers again n i think they're gona start quarreling ovver who made him go.. its a stupid quarrel cos they're both at fault but she'll probably blame her.. ok this so doesnt make any sense at all i know nvm.. they're small girls.. ignore... shit now i sound lik 3 ppl dont i.. nvm its ok.. mels been moody n cryin lik hell she deserves a chance to go insane i guess..
bahh my -spillin-my-guts-out- mood is gone.. hai ive lost e best bf a girl could have.. he's good looking (to me n e mi girls at least) w a good built.. albeit abit grouchy he makes a girl laugh anyday cos he's stupid n brainless x(!! zhu!! he's a saint w e looks n e attitude.. nan ren bu huai nu ren bu ai.. didi knows how to pull e right strings to keep a girl comin back.. knows e right words to say n when to say them.. knows what to do in weird situations n stuff.. BASICALLY a damn experienced guy.. its gona b hard to b on my own.. but mel's gona make it isnt she.. we all know she can move on.. so my friends out there.. keep smsing lik uve been doin and START if u haven been! x(! but mel will take care of herself.. thou she's still prone to hurtin herself she's takin better care of herself le.. didi says he'll continue being my best friend so at least no more bf i wun loose my best fren too.. rly decent of him.. heard e other saints juz dumped e girl n left w/o anymore calls or smses.. jerks! ok this wasnt e entry i planned.. i planned to tell my 2 thoughts.. but if i do tt its gona take another entry this long.. i shall do it another day.. i think these long entries thingy im doin now is good noe.. it makes me clear up.. my heads not so messy my tears arent flowing le.. tts good mel keep it up soon u'll b over it n checking e hotties out.. wait i alr am but besides tt.. bah i dun mind turnin les.. if i fall for her.. wheet.. that'd b good.. but her gf's so much hotter than me.. bah.. im nonsenseing again.. i shall go.. thank u blog for not hanging on me.. its a long entry n i will confirm cry if u hang la..
ps: if uve reached here.. walao ure damn zai.. really u are i'll take my hat off for u man.. nono i dun wear hats they mess my hair.. ok fine i'll take a hairpin off my hair for u.. congrats! oh ya u guys can tag le cos this board is mine!
* i'll close my eyes and remember. 1:56 AM *