Tuesday, October 04, 2005
my addiction to studying's comin n going its scary. hell. was up till 5am this mornin cryin n rollin abt in bed worreid abt e friggin exams. doubt i'll do well 4 econs 2dae. i was lik in a daze. e supplements made my brain awake but my entire body was lik dead. puee n e sunlight shinnin in cast a shadow on my paper. shadow o my baby fringe sticking out which made me paranoid abt my hair again -_-" if u tink tts dumb. ha yings was fascinated abt how cute her pen tip looked on paper. haha e werid n e weirder. screw. i feel lik i have to study. NOW. cos i haven studied anything tdae.. yet i shd b slping. nah i need someone. or another. just. someone to be with me ryt now to calm my nerves n promise me everything's gona be alright. i'm but a little girl inside. someone pushed e little girl down..
puee im fat. cooped up at home in e middle o books music ribenna and sweets aint good. puee. i hv decided aft promos since he stil has to study he'll study n i'll go gym opposite e study room to run since tt stupid siyang keeps sayin joggin is e best way to lose wt >_< *apprehensive! ha doesnt seem to b wkin on me im stil fat as eva. hell no. im juz fatter x( puee..
i wana take photographs again. haven done any good photos for so long. daddy's too busy or we're too busy. miss gg down to botanic gardens or somewher nice w e environment n stuff den just take lots n lots of vv nice photos. nowadays the photos with friends are nice. but its evident in my face i lack experience le. too long without practice results in that kinda looks. i wana take photographs. n i dont lik digital cameras! they capture expressions in eyes so quickly u dun hv time to mask anything b4 e pic turns out crappy.. bla. face it. ugliness cant be helped. screw..
i lik lin jun jie. he sings prettily. hell my vocab is seriously limited.
luck for promos everyone..
* i'll close my eyes and remember. 4:23 AM *
